Someone That You Used To Know
PC PAIGE KWON // forever21 blazer // bossini leggings // h&m scarf // zara white tee // accessories thrifted
If you have known someone for a while, chances are that they have become distant and different. It happens because it is a part of life - an important growing process like the colours of leaves that change over seasons. I have known myself long enough to see the transformation - I feel like I was a caterpillar that is slowly but steadily growing into a colourful and confident butterfly.
Years after another, I began to discover parts of my soul that I didn't know existed, and I carefully sewn those little pieces together to mold myself. Now I tell people, yes I do fashion blogging; yes I sketch a ton; yes I dance and even though I am not the best dancer I make choreographies and videos. People see me now and they would always - always - be shocked by how much my appearance and my way of talking and acting have changed. To some of them, it has been years since we last saw each other and I am no longer a familiar face to them. It makes me feel out of place but I learnt to accept.
Insecurity filled me and clouded my vision. I did not dare to look at those around me - I was afraid to be judged and frowned upon. I was anxious and paranoid. In the midst of everything, I failed to realize that I was running away - not from the people around me - but from myself. The Gloria I tried to shake off and leave behind years ago. The Gloria that used to be tomboyish and depressed and unconfident. I changed and I knew I changed, but why was I so afraid to admit it? Why did I believe that people looked down at me rather than looked up to me? Why had I been so ashamed of my achievements and the long, tough way that I have come?
As I become more complete and the sparks in my eyes came back, I no longer fear judgement. Yes some would make fun of the fact that I fashion blog. Yes some would think I am trying hard to be someone I am not. Yes some would look at my work and imply that it's trash - but it's okay, because ultimately you are who you set out to be. You are your own clay; you mold your own future and lifestyle and every important decision.
Love your passion and work, you have nothing to be afraid of. The right people will see the value in you, and they will be the ones to change your life and protect you; most importantly, these people will strengthen you and be those beautiful hands that help mold you into the person you aspire to become. (: